Dear future me, this goes out to you.
Take it from someone who (as most do) jumped into this experience without having a clue what was really going on.
*Insert indispensable disclaimer here* I don't mean to scare you away from volunteering, nor do I want to discourage you from taking a leap into the unknown, which is kinda the entire point of doing something like this anyway. After all, everybody knows it's not about the destination, but the twisted road you travel to get somewhere you were never expecting to reach, right? Nonetheless, I am a big fun of uncomfortable truths, no matter how ugly or lovely they might be.
So, here's some food for thought. Make of this whatever you like.
1. You will have to learn how to deal.
Be it a nasty colleague, a weird housemate, a problematic coordinator, you will have to learn how to cope with them, if not for any other reason, for the sake of your own survival.
Okay, I will tone the drama down a notch. Truth is, this is a life lesson everyone needs to learn eventually. Let's put it this way: if, while reading this, you're thinking to yourself "what's this girl talking about, I never had any issues with anyone, e v e r", then congrats, you've dodged it so far. Don't kid yourself though, it's coming for you, and EVS will simply make sure to speed up the process a bit.
See, ever heard of that old saying "life is a jungle"? Well, you will come to realize you never quite grasped the meaning of this before embarking on your EVS journey. You can attribute it to the time you will inevitably spend practicing self-introspection (trust me, you will), to the enriching experience of meeting new people and discovering new ways of life, or simply to the basic human need for change that drives all of us, without exception. Be it as it may, the main thing you will (and should!) take away from this journey is that no man is an island, and you cannot cross the sea without building bridges. Pretentious metaphors aside, my advice for you, my young padawan, is this: be prepared to de-escalate.
Hold on, I can just see all of you raising the most obvious of objections, i.e. "but I'm such a friendly guy/gal! I don't want any drama in my life! Why should I have to worry about this?".
I feel you, my friends, I really do. Unfortunately, drama is an insidious bi**h, and this EVS terrain can be quite tricky to navigate. Beware, drama will find you. There hasn't been a single person I've met in these 7 months who will disagree with this. And you know what, in a very strange way, please do embrace this. [Avoid it if you can, of course. Honestly, you have my full blessing to try and stay out of harm's way, all of you pure souls out there who are just so disinterested in gossip and toxic talk, and are only up for a good, peaceful time with friends.] I guess this is where this whole rambling ties together with what was originally my first point (haha, joke's on you if you thought this was going to be a short post!): you will have to learn how to deal, and the best way to do that is actually to quickly master the art of de-escalating.
Listen here and listen carefully, because this little technique can get you out of oh-so-many nasty situations. See, it's all about that devil-may-care attitude, and how to use it to just shoo away that unwanted negativity from your life. Basically, it all comes down to this: while you're there, wherever your project takes you, do not waste your time with pointless arguments, backtalk, and trashing on people. Do not, and I cannot stress this enough, get down to someone else's level just because this is the direction the wind blows in whatever social group you suddenly find yourself being a part of. Be wary of engaging in what it initially appears to be plain and simple friendly teasing towards someone who might not be that popular with most of the group, because this kind of things go south quicker than you can say "sorry, my bad, I f***ed up", and apologies cannot do much to repair wounds like these. And that's what you will have to learn how to deal with, first and foremost: the reality of who you are in a social dynamic. Who knows, maybe a pleasant surprise awaits you around the corner, maybe you can reveal yourself for the social butterfly you never thought you could be, and eventually spread your wings and fly. Whatever happens, whatever answers you find along the way, whatever impact you decide to have on other people's lives, I wish for you to be 100% honest with yourself along the way.
Man, you know, you put virtual strangers together in an apartment, working in an office, in schools, in close contact, handling disadvantaged kids, helping out locals in need, taking directions from even more virtual strangers, who are at the same time asking for your input, as well as your dedication, your time, your interest, yadda yadda. We all get it, right? Strangers in a strange land gotta stick together, believe me. In this ever-spinning joyride, it's essential that you learn to control your reaction to less-than-ideal circumstances, to unplanned obstacles, complicated relationships, out-of-the-blue blues, and homesickness, and hostility, and rejection, and all those fun little things that will just appear to be doing their best to screw you up. So, if any such bulls*** comes your way, pause a second, take a breath, look around. You're not alone. Everyone else around you will pretty much be in the same sinking boat as you are, and this thought could actually lift you up.
Therefore, all this considered, you might want to try not to blow things out of proportion, meaning that you need to keep the wits about you, no matter what the world throws at you. Mind, it's going to be hard more often than not, not to explode, get upset, let some small misunderstanding bother you. But this experience it's all about growth: your own personal growth and your own personal struggle with it. In this situation, people will help you get there. Be it with a metaphorical kick in the nuts, a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on, the connections you will make here will stay with you, change your insides, twist them up real good, and leave you dizzy and just this side of confused. My advice is simply to rein in the attitude, work through each others' differences, and if all else fails just take some distance, ask for some personal space, and regroup. Remember that you will never be able to deal with anything if you don't deal with yourself first.
There is a lot to take away from these months, so much to learn, so much to discover, so much wonder to experience. If you manage to keep the drama down to a minimum and approach every issue with a positive stance, there is so much to gain from this than any of my words could ever describe.
Enjoy, and remember to dodge the drama if you can, Matrix style!
~ Pí
P.S. extra pro tip for y'all, wherever you are, find your corner of paradise, a peaceful place, a refuge.
Find your spot.
And if you ever happen to come by Reșița, I will be more than happy to share mine with you.
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P.P.S. Go up there with someone who speaks to your soul.
It was all about the company for me.
Song of the post: "Open your eyes" by Snow Patrol
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